Monday in the Second week of Easter: Stones

Lessons: Psalms 1-3; Daniel 1:1-21, First John 1:1-10; John 17:1-11

 

Annunciation Gospel: Luke 1:26-38

Prayer does not always come easy. Even with the firm routine of an established time, in my case first thing of the day, and customary aids, bible and Prayer Book. Sometimes there are deep concerns almost like the weight of too much distraction and this is one of those days. Like most of us I suspect, I look for some word of encouragement or clarity. But this is not to be one of those days. Activity will set in shortly and I will be productive but will I find the center that will guide me to clarity about deeper things?

Yet as I write I know this is prayer as well. Prayer is not the same as resolution even when I hope it to be such. Today it seems like small stones being rolled over and over in my hand with the hope they will become smooth and away clear. I am not patient with this.

One stone is in Psalm 1:1:

"Happy are they who have not walked in the counsel of the wicked, nor lingered in the way of sinners, nor sat in the seats of the scornful!"

Is happy content? Is it inner peace? Only I allow discontent to be its companion today. I am content that life is in God, but discontent with how to handle one significant concern. "Show me the way'" is the inner call.

A second stone is in Psalm 2:2-4:

How many (adversaries) there are who say of me, "There is no help for him in his God."
But you, O LORD, are a shield about me; you are my glory, the one who lifts up my head.
I call aloud upon the LORD, and he answers me from his holy hill;

Here it is like hope and distrust are two stones in competition. Will they wear each other smooth? Are they necessary companion pieces in prayer that will eventually give me greater clarity? It feels as if deeper trust is the stronger of the two. Is this not faith, trusting beneath distrust?

Another stone is in John's Gospel: 17:1-4:

"Father, the hour has come; glorify your Son so that the Son may glorify you, since you have given him authority over all people, to give eternal life to all whom you have given him. And this is eternal life, that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. I glorified you on earth by finishing the work that you gave me to do."

This is the main stone I hold, the hope and knowledge that as I hold my concerns I too am held. I will need this day to continue to look at what Jesus might have me do in response to the concerns that occupy my mind/heart. What would the kind thing be? What would the wise thing be? Are they the same? If not, how do they differ? I long do I wait for clarity before I need to act for the sake of those I love? What is unhealthy codependent behavior verses healthy care offered? I wonder what is the mind of the Christ whom I am to "know?"

Sometimes when the quiet of prayer ends, we are left with stones in our hands, they roll around and rub each other. Perhaps they chip at each other. I hope for a smooth resolve. Mostly I hope not to ignore them but to be guided.

Do we all know this feeling?