And a woman in the city, who was a sinner, having learned that he was eating in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster jar of ointment. She stood behind him at his feet, weeping, and began to bathe his feet with her tears and to dry them with her hair. Then she continued kissing his feet and anointing them with the ointment. ...the Pharisee ... said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what kind of woman this is who is touching him, that she is a sinner." Luke 7:37-39.
And here is the trick. Jesus does seem to know who she is, what she might be. Was it her costume? Did she paint her face? Did she know just how to touch with meaning? Was it a place in her eyes, though it is unclear they exchanged a look? Or was it the Pharisee's eyes speaking judgement of both? And did the Pharisee's eyes create a space between himself and Jesus and this woman?
I wonder at that space that lies between any of us who are good for the most part and those we encounter who we judge to be otherwise. In us there always is this space between. Does it keep us safe? And from whom does it keep us so very safe?
I do not know any whores, certainly no one who has "earned" the title. I do know people who have been unkindly granted the title...at least for a moment. I know the granters of the title as well, even in me. And I know this space between that is to keep me safe. I know the drab colors of its decor, mostly grays that move from dense shades or fading ones as I age.
I know the one who had the affair, the one who left spouse. I know those who drank too much, too long and missed the growing family. I know some who awoke to the labor of finding self and those who stayed by in hope. I know the hollow distance that is created when we reach for the wrong thing of lesser value in life and then awake to find it devoid of meaning. How to start again?
As we awake we are in that safe distance we and others create, that space between which does not serve us well. How to start again?
Jesus spoke up and said to him, "Simon, I have something to say to you." "Teacher," he replied, "Speak." "A certain creditor had two debtors; one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he canceled the debts for both of them. Now which of them will love him more?" Simon answered, "I suppose the one for whom he canceled the greater debt." Luke 7:40-43
Always a new beginning is found in the story waiting for us to hear. Not only did Simon now hear and listen, Jesus had once listened in order to offer the story, and the woman who was laboring for forgiveness was listening as well. And as each listened the space between began to vanish. The place that heals began to occupy the space once bound by judgement. Perhaps it vanished less for the Pharisee. We do not know."Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet..." Simon is reminded he neglected a courtesy, which she provided if oddly. In the neglect is the space between intended. Both are forgiven from the place within that desires forgiveness. One will feel it more. Then follows the look, the deep seeing of the woman and the words that will hang in the air. "Your sins are forgiven." ... "Your faith has saved you; go in peace." Luke 7:48, 50
And we must wonder. Later in the world beyond this meal, when each saw her, who did they see? Was she sin? Was she forgiveness? Was she the story they forgot to ask? How safe now was the space between? Was it now thinner?
"Who is this who even forgives sins?"
It is not only Jesus...no, it is you and me.
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