Sixth Monday after Pentecost, Proper 8
Years ago when I was twenty-two I was in a time of sorting. I had gone to a conference center called Kanuga on scholarship to gather myself somehow. I had graduated from university, found the job market difficult, was wondering what my faith meant, had more secret parts surfacing, was puzzled. I walked a path by the lake in quiet when I heard, "Would you come sit with me." Out of nowhere, came a call. I looked and there was a white haired lady perhaps in her eighties who seemed beautiful by gentle speech. I joined her.
Simone told me she had noticed me over these last days and God had put it in her heart to share with me. She asked after my presence at Kanuga, shared with me that annually she looked forward to her week here. She was a French war bride whose husband was so kind that he always let her have this week alone to pray at Kanuga and provided the driver to bring her here. She spoke of her French Huguenot past when I asked about the cross and dove pendent. She spoke with great intimacy of the Holy Spirit's guidance in her life the way only one can who is wise with years. We prayed, with me in the embarrassed intimacy of that bench. She told me that she could see God had something specifically waiting for me. This she could see.
Was this the language of merely an elderly lady or was the voice of God caught in this. I hope the later. Looking over my shoulder, this was a life changing week for so many reasons. Two important voices spoke to me in ways of care, vocation that would open me to God in ways I had not yet known. When I have thought of her over so many years, I must wonder at the hand of God.
All our lessons today invite us to see the hand of God in life changing ways. That hand is dealt out variously and the result is various. All however open vocation and let us see differing aspects of vocation.
In First Samuel, Saul the son of Kish is hiding among the baggage on the day he is to be elevated as Israel's first king. One has to pause with this image and wonder not so much at his anointing but at the weight being placed on him. He hardly feels ready even if some elder prophet has come out of a dreamy message to anoint him to responsibility and God's deep hope. Indeed the wonderment of some gives us pause.
"Some worthless fellows said, 'How can this man save us?' They despised him and brought him no present." 1 Samuel 10:27
His journey will not be easy from the beginning. He will grow best as he grasps God's hope and help. He will fail when he does not. Yet even this will be used to his strengthening and vocational clarity and God's purpose yet to be revealed.
Stephen in Acts is at the end of his defense before the Pharisees. Having been recognized by this very early Christian movement as one with the heart to care for his community, he was chosen one of the first deacons. He is to care for the mundane but essential needs of the Church's poor. His defense of this new faith in Jesus as risen Lord who has come to fulfill the hopes of Israel has been stated with accusations that those hearing him are frozen of heart/mind. The Pharisees are told they are not open to the power of God. For this long defense he is stoned to death as a blasphemer and thus the first martyr. So solid is his faith and hope that he prays:
"'Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.' Then he knelt down and cried out in a loud voice, 'Lord, do not hold this sin against them.' When he had said this, he died." Acts 7:59-60
Yet this is being watched by one Saul of Tarshish. Little does he know that this is readying him to hear his own dramatic call to open up to the compassion of God and follow Jesus. One must wonder if this faith observed in Stephen did not come to play in Saul's mind over the years ahead. God's actions in our lives compile and build to some good end.
In the Gospel, Peter is going through his own trial of faith. This is a night of danger. All seems to be coming apart at the seams. He is faithful enough to hide in the crowd and watch the arrest, wait for news of the trial. But just now it is in his mind too dangerous to admit association with Jesus. Then the cock crows.
"'Before the cock crows today, you will deny me three times.' And he went out and wept bitterly." Luke 22:61-62
Has he missed his vocation this day? Has he saddened the heart of God? On the other hand, is he being preserved for a deeper vocation? We do not know. All we know is that he awakes to clear usefulness after the resurrection.
What does all this mean? Throughout scripture it seems when one is least clear, least brave or foolishly brave by many people's standards, the encouragement of God comes. If not the encouragement, then the material of later insight or vocation.
Samuel reluctantly consents to anoint a king, accepting that God presses him to do so for the people. Saul hides for a time from his vocation, his call. Stephen in brash faith steps out only to be martyred. Saul who will be St. Paul watches what will haunt him and encourage him in months and years to come. Peter seeks to blend in, even deny association. Then the truth of that denial burns into his soul only to be healed by the forgiveness that is resurrection. An elderly lady asks you to sit with her and as you listen to her story of God's kindness and purpose some seed is planted that is to be a message of God's care and love.
Why is this so often the way of God? When least we expect a word of hope, of call, of vocation to be useful to God, it comes. And sometimes, if not always, we are yet to be fully aware of its gift.
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