Yesterday I visited the memorial garden of St. Peter’s by the Sea to visit the place where my longest term friend was interred four years ago. Al was one of the few people outside of family who knew me deeply and well. We met in a dorm in college, became friends, went to church together, served the communities we gave ourselves to together. Geographically and professionally we moved off in different directions. We lost each other for a brief time and then found one another. We never lost each other again.
He could call me up short in a way no one else could. He could also listen to the present or next chapter of my life knowing what questions would prompt my growth or unbury my sins. I could answer him and know he would push me often sharply, usually kindly, to my better self. In later years our conversations were too often over the phone but always remained essential to me and I think to him. Still to this day I miss him, our long history, and the truth he held out to me.
One of the most powerful friendships in the Old Testament is that of Jonathan and David. They come to know each other in the field of bravery. They bind to each other as blood brothers we suppose. They become of one heart. We are told in the 18th chapter of 1 Samuel, “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the souls of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” Elsewhere we are told that Jonathan delighted in David. We are not told what exactly this means but at minimum they were soul friends, caring and admiring of each other.
In today’s reading they hatch a plan to save David’s life even if it involves tricking Jonathan’s father, King Saul. We are reminded that there are loyalties that outweigh family in importance and meaning. Some call this our family of choice. Sometimes these are the places where we encounter a kind of love that is very close to the love God holds out to us. It can be wise. It can be forgiving of much. It is not done by blood obligation but is chosen.
Think with me today. Where has this friendship come into your life? What is the closeness you have offered? Touch your gratitude.
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