I remember the first time I took note of this passage. I was at the end of my teens, taking faith seriously, and wanting to grow in faith. I remember very clearly puzzling over the idea of having the tension between my father and me justified. I could see that with a little help I could achieve hate...but it felt wrong. How do you justify this with, "Honor your father and your mother." And speaking of mother, I had no desire to hate her or my brothers and sister. I felt stumped, so maybe it was enough to master hating my father. Still this felt wrong.
The Greek behind the English word hate used here is "miseo" and it is correctly translated: to hate, despise, detest. However it has been noted that in the Semitic usage of "miseo" there is greater play.
"We have extra-biblical data that argues that while miseo to Greeks has a more narrow word content, to Semites using miseo, the range was considerably wider, including the sense of 'leaving aside', 'renunciation', or 'abandonment' (cf. F.F. Bruce, The Hard Sayings of Jesus, Downers Grove: IVP, 1983, p.592.) A parallel might be how we can say we hate murder or a specific murderer and then say we hate broccoli. For most of us there is a differing degree of meaning.
In Luke we have a not unfamiliar bi-polar use of love/hate. They contrast commitment and lay before us some real choices. Matthew is more subtle and for instance, understanding the Semitic use, paraphrases this passage.
"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me." Matthew 10:37
Perhaps we are best aided by reading on in Luke: "Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple." Luke 14:27 Again this is not literal but figurative; making the choice to do as Jesus does. Here is a call to make deliberate choices which are in line with those of Jesus. These choices are moral. They are expressed in how we care. How we deploy our resources. How we give of self for others' well-being as Jesus did. We are asked to be sure we look ahead, plan our approach to the will of God and its discernment in the everydayness of life. We are on a spiritual maturation journey and it will cost in the realm of choice.
Luke speaks of a builder who will plan his tower so he can complete it rather than end up with merely a foundation. He speaks of a king planning an attack and how he will either muster the right forces or bargain an exit. Then he again sets an extreme choice.
"So therefore, none of you can become my disciple if you do not give up all your possessions. ‘Salt is good; but if salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored?" Luke 14:33-34.
While the other Gospels speak of choice and being flavorful, salty, they do not make this extreme requirement that we sell all to follow. They do however hold up choice.
Choice never seems to be easier or less complicated on this journey to follow Christ. That I believe is the nature of spiritual maturation. We do however grow more accustomed to the process. One choice worked through is the foundation for the next.
Recently I was talking with a friend about our youth and our freedom to play safely. We spoke of how it seemed so easy growing up before media and Internet took over our lives. The day began with the opening of the back door and off we went to play and explore, returning home for meals and out again. She noted how vigilant her daughter now is with her three children. Neighborhoods are still welcome places but safety is more carefully watched. Two of the three have computers from school to work on. Yet Mom insists they only be used in public areas of the house so she can walk by and monitor the places they go on the Internet. It is all about guiding them to best choices. It is all about wanting them to be the best of sons. It has also to do with shaping them to be followers of Christ before they fully conceive the cost. Some places on the Net are safe, some neutral, some damaging. This is lovingly picking up her cross daily for her family.
Now who could 'hate' a mother like that? I get how you can hate the limit, but not the mom.
So it brings me back to wonder, what are the choices before me today that will challenge me? What should I 'hate' in order to love better some key value? What will cause me to look, to count the cost, to plan a better choice ahead?
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