Friday after Ash Wednesday: Come and see

Friday after Ash Wednesday

 

From John 1:38-39
They said to him, “Rabbi” (which translated means Teacher), “where are you staying?” He said to them, “Come and see.” They came and saw where he was staying, and they remained with him that day.

 When first I worked at the practice of making confession I used a long list of potential sins from the St. Augustine's Prayer Book. It instructed me well in all the possibilities I had not yet realized or had but took no notice of. My confessions were quite fastidious, so much so that once when I was visiting my parent's home from Seminary and the Episcopal priest was a tight family friend, I went to Rome for the day.

 In the dark of the formal confessional there was only a floor light where I put my list of wrongs so I would be well guided. The priest commented that this was a thorough confession and gave a little penance, but no advise as I was accustomed to. I felt as I left that confession somewhat let down, decieved, not properly helped, another sin perhaps.

As I grew older I looked for simpler aids. The summary of the law became a favorite. Have I loved God, neighbor, self with all my heart mind and soul? How? How not? Which was a mere oversight? Which was intentional? Is there a difference in God's view? How will I amend my life?

When I read John 1 today I realized here is another way to examine our lives. We follow Jesus. We desire to lodge the hours of our days where he lodges, right? He invites us to come and see his lodging, his life. That lodging in truth is not a house, a home in a concrete sense but the heart of God visible in his actions and choices. So if the question is turned and Jesus says, "Where are you staying?" Do I want him to see? Do I want my daughter to see, my partner in life, my brother, my neighbor? Are there choices I make, actions I partake of that I would not want to share? Why? Is there something off here that shames me and is it legitimate shame? Personally, I am still a mixed bag and have things worthy of my little list of missed moments to do Jesus' good.

This section of John carries on and we see that one of John the Baptist's followers who stays with Jesus is Andrew. He runs momentarily off and finds his brother Simon Peter and announces, "We have found the Christ!" Peter will outstrip Andrew in the zeal of following but not in perfection of life. Does my life, do my actions, my choices cause anyone to follow Jesus? Who? How?

 

Maybe this is my penance...to ponder my effect on the world.

"Come and see."