Thirteenth Tuesday after Pentecost, Proper 15: Hanging responsible

Lessons: Psalm 121, 122, 123; 2 Samuel 18:9-18; Acts 23:12-24; Mark 11:27-12:12

Sometimes we betray ourselves.  That is Absalom’s situation today.  Having gotten lost in his own ego or privilege or anger at his father’s lack of care for Absalom’s sister, or something we do not fully see, he has placed himself above his father, David.  So successful is he that his father has abandoned the city of David, Jerusalem and taken to the hills.  Absalom has not calculated the loyalty that is toward his father and beyond him.  As he literally hangs by his hair between heaven and earth, his life is taken even though his father asks that he be spared. As he hung there, did he wonder at his actions that brought him to this vulnerable moment?

One has to wonder at David who does not seem keen on disciplining his sons.  Was he compassionate without teaching responsibility?  Is this the realm of royal privilege?  He will not deal well with this death.

Yet the truth is Absalom betrayed himself.  His arrogance left him hanging vulnerable to its rewards. Joab and his warriors have made it clear that Absalom will not cost anymore life in Israel. In a plot to hold no one guilty they kill him where he hangs.  All David’s hope for his son dies at their blows.  And yet as I read the story I cannot help but know this is his own doing.  He has taken things too far in his arrogance even as his father did with Bathsheba.

Jesus catches the chief priests, the scribes, and the elders in a similar self betrayal.  They choose not to see in his wisdom and actions the deep wisdom of God.  They are presented to us as asking a question by which Jesus sees them not seeking the truth but trickery. He turns the moment.

“I will ask you one question; answer me, and I will tell you by what authority I do these things. Did the baptism of John come from heaven, or was it of human origin? Answer me.” Mark 11:29-30

They will not answer because it will betray their hand. The answer that serves their purpose will rile the people.  They avoid an answer. Jesus in a story reveals the dilemma they live in avoiding costly signs of God’s will.  The message is that their arrogance is causing them to lose sight of God’s work and will.  Thus God’s favor will be removed from them and their privilege gone.

Knowing God’s will is not always easy and yet our acting will betray how and if we are seeking to grow toward this will.  We often think of Jesus as our principle model of compassion and he is.  But he also expects, articulates that God expects, responsibility as well.  If we are to err it perhaps should be toward compassion.  Yet without holding ourselves accountable, responsible for motivations and outcomes, our compassion can warp and not produce the full character we are capable of developing. 

Remember Jesus’ story of the man whose debt is forgiven and he is granted time to collect himself.  He tastes his relief and yet goes out and demands payment of another’s debt to him showing no understanding for the other’s plight. It is like his. Having been granted grace and learning, he was responsible to mirror it. As a result of his own selfish actions, the compassion of his master is removed.

Where has grace entered our lives?  Where has compassion shaped our hope?  Do our values and actions betray us as learning wise compassion, accountable compassion?  What does it look like for us to live reflective of this grace and compassion? How do we administer it such that the recipient is free to receive it and know enough to be responsible to pass it on?

Excuse the pause in the blog

Having just resumed work, my rhythm is slower in blogging now.  I will find a new rhythm soon.

Twelfth Saturday after Pentecost, Proper 14: Waiting

Lessons: Psalm 107:33-43, 108; 2 Samuel 16:1-23; Acts 22:17-29; Mark 11:1-11

In all of today’s readings the principal characters are sitting in the midst of shift.  David has fled Jerusalem and must listen to the taints of those who have a long grievance. He listens, for the word of God might even be found here.  Is there a corrective he needs to hear?, he wonders out loud.

Paul concludes his attempt at setting his case before the Jews of Jerusalem and only barely averts a flogging as he awaits his rights as a Roman citizen.  He has failed to make any inroad that will change the outcome of his visit to the city.  Paul is not good at waiting.

Jesus sets up the entry into Jerusalem having just told his followers his arrest, death and rising is coming. Then he enters to the triumphant calls of the crowd but we know and he seems to have known this moment of entering in an old world kingly manner is but a foreshadowing of a very different outcome.

They simply remind us there are times we are not in control of what is ahead of us.  There are times the best we can do is be and place our being inside God’s judgment and hope.  There are harsh times when this is the only rest we can give ourselves and it is unclear where we will hear anything that can be clearly distinguished as a word from God or a tolerable outcome.  And yet we wait actively if we can.  We see the small changing or consistent movements of life and wonder, where now is God in this?

That wondering can become prayer.  It is the kind of prayer that is more about yielding over the moment than controlling the moment. It does not make a sign of everything but looks patiently to see if there is a sign beneath the ordinary where we might touch God’s will.  It is not so much logical as it is intuitive. It is like a slow walk through the unknown.  And if we are blessed it will become patience and trust and hope and thus faith.

Such moments come to us all.  Will we be able then to be, to sit, to listen?

Twelfth Friday after Pentecost, Proper 14, Healed Sight

Lessons: Psalm 102; 2 Samuel 15:19-37; Acts 21:37-22:16; Mark 10:46-52

There are times in our life when we are aware of our blindness and times when we are not.  Blind Bartimaeus is keenly aware he cannot see and he reaches out for wholeness.

When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout out and say, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”  Many sternly ordered him to be quiet, but he cried out even more loudly, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” Mark 10:47-48

He has called Jesus “Son of David,” a statement of faith; an implication Jesus is Messiah come to him.  Jesus calls him and heals him. “Your faith has made you well.”  Inside this faith is firm hope.

In every arena of life there is something out of our vision range.  That is natural.  We can only see what is before or behind us and the latter we only see by memory which has its own filters. Sometimes we call this perspective as we grow clearer about what is essential and core to comprehend the past.  Sometimes we do not think to reach for perspective and we grow blind spots.  They can go unaddressed for years.

Paul shows perspective in his speech in Acts.  He looks back as he greets a difficult chapter in moving forward.  Jerusalem which holds the heart of orthodox Judaism is not so open to his coming.  There is legend that he has destroyed much of the core of the Jewish faith.  In some sense he has by inviting gentiles into what will be called Christianity but is not yet so called.  He and Peter have recognized that gentiles need not follow the Law as Judaism practices it to become followers of Christ.  And yet the salvific work of God with Israel and the Prophets are the essential backdrop to fuller understanding of Jesus and his mission and his salvific work.

So today Paul begins to share his journey, how he was a devout Jew, a righteous one, set to protect any change in the tradition as he saw and understood it.  He was you might say blind to God’s other salvific work in Jesus, ready to kill this tradition. Then he was literally blinded by Christ on the road to destroy this new tradition.  Then he was granted new sight and now he tells how.

“A certain Ananias, who was a devout man according to the law and well spoken of by all the Jews living there, came to me; and standing beside me, he said, ‘Brother Saul, regain your sight!’ In that very hour I regained my sight and saw him. Then he said, ‘The God of our ancestors has chosen you to know his will, to see the Righteous One and to hear his own voice; for you will be his witness to all the world of what you have seen and heard. And now why do you delay? Get up, be baptized, and have your sins washed away, calling on his name.’” Acts 21:12-16

The great opportunity and challenge of the Christian life is to see Jesus in every situation and to see him as he might be in his fullness not simply as we might somewhat blindly put him there. When we notice another’s sin, we may stand in judgment mostly.  When we see our own or that of someone we love, we may go quickly to compassion (though I know some who go the opposite).  The spiritual art is to hold them together.

Too often the tradition has either leaned toward Jesus’ corrective judgment or his forgiving compassion; finding it too challenging to hold both together and seek understanding.  Paul was a case in point, judging harshly.  King David might have been one who was wrongly compassionate or afraid of his judgment in family and is now living its sour fruit.  Later perspective will clarify their vision, at least Paul’s.  Yet we also know he continues as we all do with a lack of perspective on say the role of women, the full unrighteousness of slavery and other culturally bound issues of sight.

Perhaps the thing we are to hold today is simply an awareness that when I fall into judgment and taste my rancor, I need to also seek my compassion.  When I fall into full compassion, I need to see my disappointment.  From there I need to wonder about balance.  In any situation how might Jesus tip me from the place of genuine care? 

And later, when I can stand back and seek perspective, how have I done? Is there something here to be grateful for or something to repent from and make amends?

We are not called to perfection as much as we are called to healed sight and eternal hope for a centered life.

Twelfth Wednesday after Pentecost, Proper 14: Humbled by the Poor

Lessons: Psalm 101, 109; 2 Samuel 14:21-33; Acts 21:15-26; Mark 10:17-31



Eye of the Needle.

Here is a dilemma.  A number of us have been helping a young woman in jail.  As it turns out in NC, if you are jailed you still have expenses. This is particularly true on the local level. Beyond the canteen where one may buy alternative food to the plain meals, you may buy undergarments, sanitary products, soap, shampoo, toothpaste, deodorant, etc.  Evidently only a few of these products are provided and those that are , are under grade and not very effective. To make a call to the outside, to see a nurse or go to the dentist, you must pay.  Even to receive money in a jail-controlled account, you must pay.  Those trying to help got that and began to help.

This week I learned that this woman has been transferring some funds to another inmate to help him out, all the while saying she needed more help.  How charitable on the one hand.  Except that this is part of a pattern of attaching herself to unsavory people.  Is this an addictive behavior?  Addiction and association with unsavory people is the behavior that has placed her in jail.

Why worry, you might ask.  I have asked. There are several reasons.  One is that the spirit of aiding her was to help out in a distressed need. Some who are helping are stressed economically themselves, as is so often the lot of the families of those incarcerated.  That is not my case.  Yet each dollar given here might be given elsewhere.  So I personally find two things true.  I don’t want to enable a poor choice of relationship on her part.  I have unwittingly done that in the past. Second, I want to give to the best effect, here or elsewhere.

But I also know how good it feels to help another in need.  Am I wrong to not help her help another?  Does it matter that she did not tell me this was what her need was about?

Life is filled with choices and with motivations and we are all to test our own.  Sometimes we need feedback to know how we are doing.

In 2 Samuel, David has half forgiven his son for the murder of his rapist brother, David’s eldest son.  Half forgiven because he has allowed Absalom to return to the safety of Absalom’s own home while forbidding Absalom from entering David’s presence.  That actually is a lot of forgiveness and a very modest punishment for murder.  Such I guess is the fruit of privilege.  Absalom’s character becomes clear when he takes revenge by burning his cousin’s field, for he too will not enter Absalom’s presence.  This story ends with Absalom getting his way and a kiss from his father, but it also foreshadows how conniving he will continue to be.  Privilege will be misused.  

In the gospel a rich man comes to Jesus wanting eternal life.  That is honorable enough.  Keep the Law is the answer.  Ok, I’ve done that from my youth, what next?   Jesus loves him and thus said:

“You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.”  Mark 10:21

He can’t and departs, downcast.  This causes Jesus to observe:

“How hard it will be for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!”  Mark 10:23

He disciples wonder at this saying of Jesus.

“Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

They were greatly astounded and said to one another, “Then who can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and said,

“For mortals it is impossible, but not for God; for God all things are possible.” Mark 10:24-27

The 'Eye of the Needle' was a small door in the gates of Jerusalem.  When the gates were locked for security at night and a caravan arrived, the camels had to be off-loaded and led to crawl through the 'eye' on their knees to enter the safety of the city.  This is Jesus' image of the challenge to the rich and privileged.  In some real sense we crawl into the reign of God by the generosity of our heart and actions.  The Reign means to enlarge our hearts not our pockets.  So much for the theology of live right and you will have great wealth. You may, but will you have the heart for it?

You could also apply it to our privilege and the danger of pride.  We all have some off-loading to do to create generous space for others.

And the good news is that God can guide us, if we are willing to seek a way.  Yet that way will ask us to share our abundance significantly as a blessing to others and open our privilege to bless others as well.  My rule of thumb is that we all have some of each.  We all have a journey to share deeply.

However misguided I may think my young friend is in her generosity from jail, I think God is using it to challenge my own heart and purse.  So often the poor help each other in ways that both trouble and humble those of us with more.  Our hearts do well to kneel down here and learn.

Twelfth Tuesday after Pentecost, Proper 14: Family as Tricky

Lessons: Psalm 97, 99; 2 Samuel 14:1-20; Acts 21:1-14; Mark 10:1-16

Birth of Jacob and Esau,
A bit of the biblical dysfunctional family.

From time to time I will be in a restaurant or church or at a sports event and eye a family.  Often there are multiple children and a flavor of togetherness, some level of prosperity, though it need not be extreme.  There is an energy in their interactions that tastes of contentment and I find myself lost for a moment.  How did you become so happy?  Do you know how blessed you are just now?  What is it like to be in so together a place?  Every now and then the vaneer cracks and I see that I have made them more perfect than they are.  I am relieved they are ordinary and struggle as well with the pressures of how to relate best or better.

Once again we are invited into the murky depth of family in 2 Samuel.  David is struggling with what to do, how to relate to the trauma in his own home.  He may be king but he is not above humanity and our daily journey in relationship.

David’s nephew Joab, who is also a military commander under David, cares for the damage afoot in David’s home.  It is laying waste David’s ability to think clearly and lead. David’s family lays divided.  Perhaps had David held Amnon responsible for his violence on his half-sister all this would be moot just now. Absalom lies in hiding and perhaps stewing on his anger, his father’s inaction that brought this about.  We do not know.

Joab enlists the aid of a woman to set a false case to David for his judgment, for judging cases is part of the King’s responsibility.  The case is of a son who kills his brother. All the relations want revenge but this will leave the woman, who is a widow with no direct male kin to protect her or inherit her husband’s estate.  David grants a reprieve to her living son and orders the protection of mother and son.

The story then turns on David.  Why will he not do the same for his son Absalom?  David’s heart now begins to turn toward forgiveness and protection for Absalom.  Of course the sad truth is that the damage in this home is by this point deep.  The inaction by David after the rape has set in and trust of his family wisdom is not deep.  Absalom will never be a son at peace.  David does not yet see this but the text will make it sadly known.

When Jesus is asked about the right for a man to issue a writ of divorce on his wife, as the Law of Moses allows, he criticizes the law.  He notes it rises because of the defect of the human heart.  He challenges this as God’s intention for marriage and the depth of care, knowing each other, the providing of care that is basic to marriage and to family.  The couple has gone to God seeking blessing for this possibility and journey.  That blessing is meant to bring work and permanence to the adventure ahead with all its daily tasks and responsibilities.  It is important to remember in the society of Moses and of Jesus a woman with no male provider was lost.  A divorced woman was all but permanently rendered provider less.  Jesus ends with, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:9.

When Jesus goes on to explain adultery as the result of a divorce on both the male and female part, he is removing the escape of the male from the responsibility he had pledged himself to.  The church has held this in tact as a rule of life.  The point is to invite us to continue to work at our relationships and provide a stable place for children to grow up safely.  Thus this teaching goes right into the scene of Jesus blessing children.

When he uses the word adultery here, I understand him to be driving home the point that deep injury, a wrenching apart of deep hope, happens when we enter a covenant and cannot or will not see it to its full potential.  We need to not see this lightly even if we see it as the only way into the future.  We can only seek healing as we grow more self honest.

It still begs the question, what are we to do when marriage does not provide safety or a journey that works toward wholeness?  Ages past the Church said you must stick it out.  Occasionally people grew and found a deeper kindness in this process, many times not.  

The exception to this rule of sticking it out was when deception was at the heart of the original contract, the marriage lay unconsecrated. At times this has been narrowly defined.  Today it is more broadly defined by some church traditions.  There remains even in these cases the reality that care for each other and any children remains a Christian obligation.

Sometimes the relationships inside a marriage are so damaged or damaging that the only way for those who sought God’s blessing to be safe and whole is to find separation.  That separation should be done with care if possible.  In the case of abuse between either marriage partners or between a parent or both parents and children, this care may simply be an impossibility.  Sad this may be.  Sometimes holding this sadness, seeking forgiveness for one's role in it, accepting each one's responsibility as a road to a new beginning is all that is left.  How well we care for any offspring may be the revelation of our heart as we seek God next best will for our lives.

This is at least one man’s thoughts on the complexity of life, love, marriage and family.  May it be honest before God.

Twelfth Monday after Pentecost, Proper 14, Better a Millstone than a Rape

The Rape of Tamar

Eustache Le Sueur  (French, Paris 1616–1655 Paris)

Lessons: Psalm 89:1-18; 2 Samuel 13:23-39; Acts 20:17-38; Mark 9:42-50

There are stories a pastor holds in his/her heart that forever trouble.  People invite us into places we do not always wish to travel.  Some of us go there with care and help.  Others cannot or will not.  One of those troubling places is deeply connected to 2 Samuel 13, the rape of a sister, Tamar, by her half-brother, Amnon; and how Tamar’s full brother, Absalom, plots and takes revenge.  It is a disturbing tale to read and yet it is a gift that it is told in holy writ.  To see how far back humanity identified this issue and its damage, to learn what it has visited on the innocence of Tamar, that she is forever “damaged goods,” is good for us to have to hold in our awareness. The reality is she might well have been only thirteen given how early girls were given in marriage. Sexual crimes always damage and they damage whole families and thus all society.  There is a ripple effect.

In this story we see the damage done to Tamar.  Her innocent goodness to an ill brother becomes the occasion of his meditated and planned abuse of her.  Innocence gone, her sense of a safe place gone, marriage prospects gone or damaged, and a dark secret left in its place. Her brother, Absalom, is also damaged by the anger he bears.  And today the revenge he plots will wreak havoc on his family.  It all comes at the choice to overlook a simple but clear norm.  There is a family love that is safe only as long as sexual expression is limited to those married, covenanted to each other’s well-being.  This expression is for the up-building of both parties, though this is a rather modern understanding.

The statistics are available on where and how often young people are sexually abused, which is broader than rape.  It is hard to get a clear picture of how often there is rape between immediate family members. One statistic is 1 in 6 women report attempted or completed rape, 1 in 33 males. Another is 15% of such victims are under age twelve and 29% are under 17. Another is that 34.2% of attackers were family members in the case of juvenile and altogether 93% of juvenile assault victims know their attackers.

The sad reality is that Victims of sexual assault are:

3 times more likely to suffer from depression.

6 times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.

13 times more likely to abuse alcohol.

26 times more likely to abuse drugs.

4 times more likely to contemplate suicide.

In other words some moment of misguided “affection” or lust is filled with damage that ripples out.  There are other statistics on how likely it is that an abused person is likely to become an abuser if no one helps them digest and begin to heal the fundamental betrayal.

So what does all this mean to our faith?  Sadly some who have suffered this journey lose God because they lose the ability to trust care deep within.  Yet, others retreat to God who alone they hope will help them grow safe.  We who have not been sexually assaulted in family, our first line of safe haven, do well to listen and take seriously such stories that are shared with us. Those who have been so treated will perhaps already take such revelations as possible and true. Listening is key and listening well.  Seek then to create a safe haven in our heart/mind.  Seek help for the one who has come to us not as a “get it off my plate” action, but from a “what is best for you now” approach.  If we hear this from a child, then actions of protection are also key. Yet also remember for children there is great insecurity of who will care for them if not their family.  If the story comes from an adult, belief and emotional support and a sense of self worth returned is key.  If all this is beyond your competence then seek someone who is competent, with the victim’s consent, if possible. If the victim is angry with God remember God is large and not offended and may be in the anger. Pray for guidance as you listen.

Truly Jesus was right when he spoke, “If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were hung around your neck and you were thrown into the sea.” Mark 9:42

Better the millstone around the neck of an adult then smashing the heart of the child, either the child in age or the inner child of some adult brave enough to share their damaging journey.